Muppefying™ the Middle

Posted on February 1, 2013


At long last, the Muppet Leaders™ organisation is delighted to announce the development of its first accredited residential course aimed solely at aspiring Senior Leaders: Muppefying the Middle™.

This course, the first of its kind, is designed to ensure that the next breed of Muppet Leaders™ are nurtured through the sometimes traumatic process of Muppefication™, a process characterised by the abandonment of doubt and the relinquishing of uncertainty: a complete tossing off in preparation for the Muppetry™ that awaits successful participants.

This course is not suitable for all middle leaders, but is instead intended for those who have already begun to show signs of a developing MUP™ (Moving Up Pacefully) or PET™ (Plodding Eternally Taskfully) as outlined in this previous post. Ultimately, a graduate of our Muppademy™ must be seen by the leadership team of the donating school as having the capacity one day to reach the nirvana of Muppet Leadership™, the Inner Muppet™.

In order to ensure the quality of participants, there will be a rigorous screening process prior to acceptance onto the Muppefying the Middle residential*. This will involve, in the first instance, candidates completing an online form to describe and evaluate four examples of Emergent Muppetry™ from their middle leadership role, aligning them to MUP™ or PET™ brain characteristics.

The second phase of the screening process is an interview with one of our Muppet Makers™, certified and fully accredited inspirers, leaders who have found their Inner Muppet™ through their work with us. This process will help us to wheedle out the chaff, ensuring that only those displaying the 5Rs of Muppetry (™ pending following legal dispute with another licensee of the 5Rs) can continue: the Robust, the Rectitudinal, the Rigorous, the Rigid and the Redoubtable.

Once onto the Muppefying the Middle™ residential, participants will be taught to hone their skills by our team of Muppet Makers™ who have had many years (sometimes decades) as Muppet Leaders™ away from the classroom. Many have even had many years (sometimes decades) as Muppet Consultants™ away from the staffroom. All have been responsible for national programmes of Muppetry™ under the previous government before settling to private Muppet Leader™ contracts in today’s austerity-driven times. All of which means we can deliver a Muppefying the Middle™ residential place for the equivalent of just ten pupil premium payments.

The programme for Muppefying the Middle™ is a three-day one and all participants must take part in the four Mandatory Muppefication Modules™, which are:

1) Data Muppetry™ – The Muppet Leader’s™ primary weapon in the fight against inadequate teaching and unrealised achievement.

2) Muppetsted™ – The importance of monitoring the work of Ofsted and the Muppet Leader’s™ role in utilising the methodology internally for school improvement.

3) Muppet Monitoring™ – It’s time to play the music. It’s time to light the lights. It’s time for Muppet Leaders™ to get their monitoring right.

4) Muppet Management™ – How to get people into your audience. How to move them to the rights seats. How to eject the hecklers.

As well as the Muppetudinal Mandatory Modules™ participants on the Muppefying the Middle™ residential will also select a further two Optional Muppefication Modules, which include:

a) Muppefying the Curriculum – This module shows future Muppet Leaders™ how to plan a curriculum that will meet all your school’s attainment needs.

b) Muppefying Teaching – A window into how Muppet Leaders™ can influence the overall effectiveness of teaching from the outside.

c) Data Muppetry 2 – Because Muppet Leaders™ really can’t get enough of data we are offering an advanced optional module for your satisfaction.

d) Muppefied Mindset™ – Guidance on how to make the clean break from mainscale teacher to Muppet Leader™ in as painless a way as possible.

If you are a wannabe Muppet Leader™ who dreams of mounting the saddle, taking the reins, digging the spurs in, brandishing the whip and riding into the sunset of school improvement then this is the residential course for you. We can guarantee that having graduated from Muppefying the Middle™ you will never look back in your leadership again.

*For a negotiated fee schools and academies can gain exemption from the screening process via our Honorary Muppet Masters programme.

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